Indiana Jones and the Proof that George Lucas Sucks

If you haven't seen the new Indiana Jones movie yet, don't read any further. I'll spoil things for you that really, no person should ever have to see. 

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The first 30 minutes of this abomination truly set the pace for what's to come. Horrible acting, green screen when its totally unneeded, and a hint of technology that in no way should exist in the 1950s. Oh, and Cate Blanchett giving one of the worst performances of her entire career. What was with the accent? Did that part really require a "big name" or "respected" actress like Cate? Couldn't they have hired a hot Russian chick for that role, like they did in Last Crusade? That was part of the fun of Indiana Jones - it felt authentic. Granted, it did have numerous cartoon-y moments throughout the series, but you always felt like Indy and his gang were always THERE. This was littered with green screen and CGI crap - similar to why Terminator 3 was so bad. 

Then, Shia LaBeouf makes his appearance. I think they were going for "tough guy greaser/motorcycle bad ass". What it looked and felt like was "the cop from the Village People". All he needed was a bushy mustache. 

Once they get going on their adventure, the movie is actually fairly tolerable. For about 30 minutes. Then you get to the jungle car/boat/vine chase. Seriously. A car-boat. And Shia swinging like Tarzan with a group of monkeys who somehow realize that Shia is a good guy, and Russians are bad guys. That's not even to mention the sword fight that occurs between Mr. LaBeouf and Cate Blanchett. While they're both standing on the hood of two cars. That are driving pretty quickly. Through the jungle. But don't worry - no one was hurt during filming these scenes because THE ENTIRE THING WAS GREEN SCREEN!!! 

And then, you come to the big finish. 

Aliens. 

Really? Aliens?!?!

My head hurts, and I cannot believe how much George Lucas and Steven Spielberg suck for making this movie. There was no need for it. There was a little hope from fans that it WOULD be made, but I don't think anyone would really lose any sleep if it didn't get made. But they knew that if they DID make it, fanboys would come running. I mean, it worked for the Star Wars prequels, right? 

Make crap with computers, make a shit ton of money. 

I can't wait for the next installment - Indiana Jones and the Quest for a Decent Movie. 

I'm not holding out much hope.