Recent things I've watched

Seeing how I list "movie buff" as something about me, I guess it'd be a good idea to list some of the things I've watched recently, and maybe give a few opinions. 

When I'm working, I like to throw on a movie or TV show that I've seen before. Something familiar and enjoyable as background noise. A few of the movies I've done that with lately are:

Knocked Up - still pretty funny, but the more I watch it and take notice, I can kinda see Katherine Heigl's point about it being mildly sexist. But overall, it's still an enjoyable watch.

Clerks II - I should say that I've been on a bit of a Kevin Smith kick lately. I watched Mallrats again a few months ago, Dogma a few weeks ago, and then watched Clerks II again. Not his best work, but for a sequel, it didn't completely rape the original. And seeing Jay do the Buffalo Bill impressions still cracks my shit up. Plus, I'm kinda excited for Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Snatch - again, just wanted something comfortable and familiar. Still a great flick, and one of Brad Pitt's best roles - right up there with True Romance. Plus, I'm kinda excited for Rocknrolla.

Weeds Season 4 - I don't have showtime, but that doesn't stop me from checking out Weeds. I kinda lost touch with Weeds while the season was running. I watched the first 3 or 4 episodes, then kinda dropped it for awhile. Then I watched the entire season in about 3 days. Weeds seems to continue the pattern of each season so far - there are still good parts that are totally worth watching the show, but each season there are more and more story lines that really struggle and bring the show down. This year it was Andy and Doug's side project. Blah. But I still love Shane Botwin and his bizarre personality. And for the ladies, you get to see A LOT of Silas this season. If I was gay, I'd totally think he was hot. Too bad I was way too focused on Mary-Louise Parker....*drool*

Six Feet Under, Season 1 - This was a big one for me. My sister and mom LOVE the show, and would always watch as many episodes as they could when she and I came down to visit the folks. Sometimes I'd stick around to watch one or two, but most of the time I'd go surf the internet, take my dog for a walk, or do anything else I could. It just seemed.....weird. For the sake of being weird. I'm okay with weird. Hell, I LOVE weird movies, but this was almost too weird for me. 

Then I realized the problem. If you just watch a random episode, of COURSE it's weird. These people all have seriously fucked up issues. So you gotta watch the entire series, in order, to follow WHY it's so weird. I was quite impressed with the first season, and I've got season 2 sitting next to my TV, but I haven't gotten around to start it yet. 

I'm thinking of watching Cool Hand Luke now. There's no better way to say goodbye to Paul Newman than to watch him in one of his best roles. 

"Sometimes nothing can be a pretty cool hand"

The Project

So, I've mentioned The Project before, and I figured I should talk a little more about it now. But first, the backstory.

April 2007 I started my new job. I was staying in the same federal agency, but switching from a contractor role to a federal employee job. I went from a recruiting/hiring role to a straight data analysis type position. I think some of the first things my boss told me was to "learn VBA coding and SQL syntax". Um, what? So yeah, the first few weeks was basically me feeling like an idiot for 9 hours a day. no.fun.at.all. 

But slowly I picked things up, and I think I have a pretty good grasp of things now. But back then, I was still pretty lost. Its your typical "new job idiot" feeling where you're learning where the bathroom is, and who in the hell can help explain things for you. I HATE that feeling, and its one of the main reasons I'm happy with a slower career path that doesn't require me to jump jobs all the time. 

...

We're getting off track here. Sorry. Back to The Project. One of the first big events after I started was our annual Management Conference in June. For this year's meeting, we took all our managers and put them in 15 different teams with the task of highlighting each section's current procedure/policy/workflow, and to recommend changes and improvements. I got put on two teams - one I understood and one I did not. But being the peon of the "management circle", I had to write the powerpoints for both our groups. 

The conference is about as exciting as it sounds - all day, 15 powerpoint presentations, and "team building" activities. Like 95% of the people there, I found it incredibly boring and only retained about 5% of the material presented. Lucky for us we were given a binder with all the presentations - a tiny little book of about 280 powerpoint slides. 

Fast forward to August 2008. One of our high-level managers wants to create a "management reference guide", basically they want the binder from the Management Conference updated to show the current procedures now - what changes were made either by our own internal actions, or broad changes agency-wide. The Project gets passed down to someone higher up than myself. She's quite swamped with other projects, so she passes it on to me. Again, I'm still the low man here, so there's not really anyone I can pass it on to, and I've got a lot of other shit on my plate as well. She says there's no real deadline right now, but they do expect to see an end product at some point. I really did mean to start working on it, and I even read through all the old stuff, made notes, and noted what I needed to get updated. 

I just didn't know how to get started. If I had some direction or even offering to provide me some help, I might be able to get some stuff done. But since it would require a.) all the material to be updated, and b.) a complete re-formatting of the information, WHERE THE HELL DO I START?!?!

So while I'm pondering this, other projects come up that take higher priority or need immediate action. This project gets put on the side for awhile. 

Cue to two Mondays ago. Same woman who pushed it down to me says "Hey, can you have a first draft of The Project ready by the end of the Fiscal Year?" 

"You mean, like in two weeks?"

"Yeah, why, is that going to be a problem?"

"Maybe. I haven't really had much time to get started, and I have a lot of other stuff going on right now as well."

"Well, we need a draft by the end of the FY."

Me, to myself - "well....fuck me."

Keep in mind...this is 15 separate group's work, from 15 months ago. And we're coming up at the end of the Fiscal Year, which is always extra work for managers.  

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I'll spare everyone of the details of how I got it done, but I will say that I work with some really great people who really helped me get these updates done. And other people were willing to take the time and let me bug them with questions. 

So tonight, after 2 weeks of working on it every night and all day on the weekends, I think I'm done with my first draft for review. I was able to shrink down 280 powerpoint presentations to 20 pages of flowcharts and narratives of each step in the processes. 

And I really hate bragging or tooting my own horn, but I fucking rocked it. I'm so proud of what I was able to do with this. 

And I really think starting this blog right in the middle of working on it helped. After 8-10 hours a day at the office, coming home and working 3-5 more hours at home for two straight weeks, I was starting to get a little crazy. Thoughts flooded my brain and I needed a way to get them out, because I didn't have the space to keep them up there while trying to wrap my head around The Project. 

So thank you. 

Hopefully now that I have a bit more time on my hands, we can hang out more often. 

Bush bashing

I promise, this little blog o' mine won't be a political blog forever. It just seems like the only way to avoid political talk these days is to stay locked in your home with no tv, no radio, no internet, and you better not look outside or else you'll see 10,000 political signs around the neighborhood. 

Trust me, there's a lot of other things going on in the space between my ears, and I'm sure I'll get to it eventually, but for right now....you're getting more politics. 

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I'm going to start here with what seems like a politically unpopular opinion - I don't think Bush is the reason for all of our problems right now. That's not to say I think he's guilt free or hasn't made his fair share of mistakes. Hell, I think it is entirely possible that he'll go down as one of the 5-10 worst Presidents we've had. But I don't think it's all his fault. Those that do place the blame all on him, I think, are giving the man WAAAAAAY too much credit. He's not smart enough to cause all of our problems. He's had plenty of help, and I'm not just talking about the typical liberal "blame gang" of Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and Condoleezza Rice. Believe it or not, the blame goes further than that. Brace yourselves....even some (*gasp*) LIBERALS are to blame. 

I'm too lazy right now to look it up, but one of my favorite lines from "The West Wing" was something like "The Republicans aren't the enemy, they're the opposition. Congress is the enemy." Truer words have never been said. Thanks to the wonderful thing called The Constitution, the power of the President is limited. Granted, that power has expanded quite a bit since 1787, but the general idea is the same - the President can't single handily run (or ruin) the country. He had plenty of help. 

We currently have a Democratic Congress, led by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. And if you look, the approval rating for Congress is just as low, if not lower, than Bush's approval rating over the past year or so. And if you'll notice, that's about the same time period where everyone started running for re-election. We hear it every 4 years it seems, but "This is the most important election EVER!!!!!!!11!!!ONE!!!ONE!!!!!" And to some extents, that is true - a brand-new administration is going to take over. The promise of hope and chance is in the air. So what's the worst thing that a Congressman can do right now? Rock the boat, and risk not being in Washington to be a part of the change. So, Congress has taken an unofficial leave of absence for the past 12 months, it seems, to allow everyone to shore up their base. That means ruffling as few feathers as possible and changing as little as possible. McCain realized the problems with sub-prime loans awhile ago, but no one wanted to deal with it, hoping it would stay a dormant problem until after November. 

Oops. 

So now, here we are discussing a $700 BILLION bail-out for major investment organizations. And it's all Bush's fault, right? Not so much. Check out this post a guy I know from college wrote on the whole mess: http://rudeamerican.blogspot.com/2008/09/to-own-home-in-state-of-nature.html. I'll wait for you to read it....

So wait a second....that sounds like it was Clinton who started the whole mess? He set the parameters for this collapse. 

Bush didn't encourage banks to take these Adjusted Rate Mortgages. He didn't force the Federal Reserve to raise interest rates month after month, causing these mortgages to go higher and higher each month. Bush never forced anyone to sign one of these mortgages, gun to head and pen to paper. 

There are many cogs in the machine of the Federal Government, and one man cannot save or collapse and entire system like this. 

Look at the similarities between the recent gas price problem, and these mortgages. Oil wasn't skyrocketing in cost because of a sudden fear of the supply, or the capacity to produce more gasoline. Prices were going through the roof LONG before hurricane season started, so it wasn't just that fear alone. 

It was oil speculators artificially increasing the cost of a barrel of oil. Investors buying thousands of barrels of oil at $120, assuming it would go up to $140. 

Sounds a lot like everyone hoping to flip homes in America and make a quick $20,000-50,000 simply by signing their name to a piece of paper. Who cares what the mortgage rate is? I'm only going to have this house for 2-3 months, right?

But when the bubble burst, too many people were stuck holding a house they couldn't afford and didn't want. And those that did get the house they wanted had to pay the additional $20,000-50,000 just because the other guy got there first and wanted to get a piece of the pie. It was individual greed that pushed this problem to the breaking point. The "haves" trying to milk more out of the "have nots". (Oh, and there are quite a few "haves" who are Democrat as well....not all rich people are Republicans)

Bush didn't buy all the houses in America and force people to pay inflated prices for them, just as he didn't buy all the oil and make the prices go up. 

But, but, but....he didn't do anything to stop it either!!!! 

What can he do, really? Yeah, he could try to release an Executive Order suspending the gas tax for a few months, or ordering that interest rates freeze at a certain level, but all of those moves are a gross overreach of Executive power. He'd be raked over the coals for doing it, just as much as he has been for not doing anything. 

The last thing I'd say is that Bush has done a great job and really helped advance and promote the American way of life. Things aren't better than they were 8 years ago. But he's also had a bad hand dealt to him, and tried to do the best with what he could. It's hard to make lemonade when you've been given rotten pineapples. 

So when you're going to that polling booth in November, just remember that both parties were given the power to fix things, and none of them used that power to help America.

um....fuck?

So I've been working on a massive project for the past two weeks. Basically its a complete review manual of several key processes for my area for all managers. I've been working on it day and night, and all weekend, for the past two weeks. I'm about half-way done.

Then, tonight, around 10:45 PM, I go to save the file and convert it to a .pdf, when, something happened to Microsoft Publisher. I don't know, but it crashed while converting the file.

And now, the entire thing is gone. I click to open the file and it gives me some error (sorry, I'm too panicked and terrified right now to get the exact wording beyond MY FILE ISN'T FUCKING THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Um, so, um, FUCK. I take back the post from two hours ago. If my file isn't there and wonderful and complete in the morning, I might just stab someone with a pen tomorrow.

Update: After 5-10 minutes of stewing, I've realized this isn't the end of the world. I'd saved all my work in other formats throughout the process, so nothing's really "lost" its just....inconvenient. I hope

Update 2.0: Got in to work this morning, totally expecting my file to still not work. I mean, why would it work now? BUT IT DID! IT WORKED! EVERYTHING IS THERE!

Thank you Jebus!

PC/Mac - Microsoft Strikes Back

So Microsoft was doing something like a $100 million ad campaign to counter the hipper-than-thou Mac ads. It started with the Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates creep-fest that started showing about two weeks ago. I'll be a happy man when I can get the image out of my head of Bill Gates wiggling his hips like his boxers are riding up...*shutter*.

Then they had the follow-up one with Jerry and Bill staying at the Principle-from-Billy-Madison's house, and they like, steal a mouse or something? I dunno, I couldn't stand to watch it that closely.

But has anyone seen the new New NEW Microsoft ads that have popped up in the past few days? It starts with a carbon copy of the "PC guy" from the Mac ads. He says something like, "Hi, I'm a PC, and I'm also a stereotype", and it shows a whole bunch of people from all walks of life and all types of jobs and they all say something like "I'm a PC".

I like it. It's exactly what Microsoft needed to show that, hey, PCs are used A LOT by A LOT of different types of people. And you don't need to be a pretentious hipster to use us! That's right, you can own a PC even if you didn't LOVE Juno (or, ironically, a hipster who HATED Juno)...

Normal people use PCs. College kids still get Dell and Gateway laptops. I have a Mac for my personal computer, but I use PC at work and the PC government laptop. There are things I really like about both, some things that drive me crazy about both (mostly PC here, but a few Mac things too). But about 80% of the time, I don't really give a shit which one I'm on, cause they do the same thing. Porn looks the same on both. (er, porn? I mean, um, spreadsheets! Yeah, spreadsheets!)

Microsoft's next ad should really highlight that almost every Mac user still uses Microsoft Office.

Change?

So I covered religion already and basically showed my border-line atheist views. Might as well go on and talk politics now too. 

I've always had an interest in politics. I grew up with parents who had some strong political views, and pictures of my mom and dad with several high-ranking Republicans. I do realize that in this day and age (or at least in the Northern VA neighborhood I call home), saying you're a Republican is akin to beating a puppy for fun or mugging a 90 year old lady. But I promise you, not all Republicans hate minorities and love war. 

I went to a very conservative college who refused to take federal funding, and thus didn't have to follow government rules. There I majored in political science and history. So yeah, I'm well versed in conservative doctrine. 

Over the past 10 years or so, I've found some of my conservative views remain (albeit changed in some ways), but I find my association with the Republican party distancing. I've voted Democrat, Libertarian, and Republican in various elections. I'm for smaller government, and I thought the Republican party was too....my bad. $700 billion? 

Which brings us to 2008. Obama and McCain. The young idealist and the cranky old man.  And I'm totally undecided on who I support and want as President. At this point I'm almost trying to determine which would do the least amount of harm in the next 4-8 years. 

I don't believe a single word of what any candidate says. All the promises they make, how they both claim to be outside the Washington system, the empty calls of change...its all just marketing and advertising. Just like any infomercial selling you the product that will change your life, but in reality is a piece of crap - this election just reeks of "tell 'em what they want to hear". 

I'm a federal employee. I'm on the fringe of being able to influence management, and a lot of my work directly effects how our "area" runs. And again, I was a political science and history major....I understand bureaucracy. There are well over a million federal employees. There are no switches that you can flip to institute overnight change in the federal government. So stop saying that you're going to "change" Washington. Oh sure, of all those campaign promises you're making to teachers, Detroit auto workers, Pittsburgh steel workers, retirees, celebrities, and any other group willing to give hundreds of thousands of dollars to your campaign....maybe 10% of that will actually be accomplished. 

You'd think Obama would know how laws are made, what with all the major legislation he's written. Oh....wait. Scratch that. And he's as bad a speaker off-script as Bush is. If he's smart he'll do as few debates as possible.

McCain rocking the "Maverick" label is bullshit with all those lobbyists he's got involved in  his campaign.  His legendary temper is going to do wonders for repairing our foreign relations. And he's drinking the religions right kool-aid a bit more each day. Let's not even discuss the possibility of President Palin....

You see where I'm going here? Both these guys scare the shit out of me. 

I don't think either one is a bad person, and I think they both have good intentions for the most part. McCain has a tremendous record of working with Democrats get important and less-than-popular legislation passed because it was the right thing to do. Obama has such a warming personality that it's hard to dislike him, and I think that will go a long way to repairing U.S. foreign relations (now what he does AFTER that is completely suspect...). 

I voted for the Libertarian candidate in 2004, mostly because I was tired of Bush and couldn't stand the wimpy Kerry. But there are things I like about both of the candidates this year, and things that terrify me. I may go that route again this year, but I don't feel good about it. 2004 was a protest vote; 2008 seems like a cop-out vote. 

I still have some time to make up my mind. 

It's just sad that the least effective way to learn about the candidates is by listening to what they say on the campaign trail. 

For my introduction, I talk about religion and music. Smart

So, um....hey there. 

*crickets chirping*

How's everyone doing tonight?

*crickets leave*

 Well, now that I have everyone's attention. 

There are two things you should never talk about in public - religion and politics. So I figured the best way to start things out is by talking religion....and....music. Stick with me here. After a preface to a preface to an introduction, I may get to a point somewhere down the line. 

So, religion. I'm not really a fan. The idea of religion is great and serves as an excellent guide for how to lead a good life. Regardless of what religion you claim, the basic tenets - broken down to the simplest level - are the same: The golden rule. Treat others as you want people to treat  you. The basic level of morality. And my belief is that you don't have to label yourself "Christian", "Muslim", "Hindu", or any other organized religion to follow this rule and be a "moral" individual. 

Religion does not equal morality. And its on that point where I become flustered with organized religion. Organized religion says that if you're pro-choice or support the death penalty you cannot ("in good faith") receive communion at a Catholic mass and can be excommunicated (Joe Biden is finding that out the hard way. Shit, no politics in this post). There are just as many atheists living good moral lives as there are Christians leading immoral lives.

So, um....how does this tie into music? I'm glad you asked. Time for preface #2.

I'm a bit of a workaholic. We'll get to that at some later point, but for now, just know that I work a lot. And when I work, I need to have some background noise. Be it Howard Stern on my headphones or music from the speakers in my office, I need something to keep my brain focused on the task at hand. Yeah, I'm kinda weird. 

My music listening kinda follows a cycle. Stream Sirus Alt Nation channel for awhile, tune out songs that don't catch my ear, and make note of the songs that really catch my attention. If the song holds my attention after several listens, I'll download the album or song and listen to it and the other music I've enjoyed on repeat until they bore me. Rinse and repeat. 

So, what catches my attention? An excellent question. One in which I am sooooo unable to answer intelligently that I will act like a 5th grader in my response. 

A song will catch my attention with how the music and the vocals blend together. 

Sounds stupid, right? And it is. I can't explain it better than that though. Music is always background noise to me, so if a song comes on that meshes well, my ears perk up and take notice. I'm sure there are more eloquent ways of stating why I like what I like, but I can't do it. 

....

I'm also a huge metacritc nerd. So sometimes I see an album that is getting rave reviews, that I've never heard of before, and get it on a whim. Sometimes it leads to a wonderful success (Madvillainy, Sigur Ros), and sometimes it has led to disaster (I can't think of anything right now, but there are examples damnit!)

Sometime this summer, I saw the rave reviews for The Hold Steady's new album "Stay Positive".  Metacritc's summary of the album was "this is the fourth album for the Brooklyn, NY indie rock quintet", and is rated an 85 out of 100. 

So I downloaded it. Put it on several times in the office while I was working. Enjoyed what I heard. But lyrics have ALWAYS been the very last thing I listen for in a song. Hell, a good 40% of the time I can't figure out what the lyrics are to any song. I just want to hear how the music and vocal abilities of the band mesh together. If its good, I'll keep listening and try to pay attention to what they're actually saying. To this day, I still can't tell you what a single Radiohead song is about, but I'll still listen to them. 

Cue to this evening. Working on one of 1,583 projects I have due before the end of the month, I decide to throw on The Hold Steady's new album "Stay Positive", which I've listened to 10-15 times in the background. 

Only tonight did I realize the heavy Christian overtones. "Overtones" may actually undersell it a bit. Hold Steady fans are going to have to work hard to convince me that they're not a "Christian band". 

And you know what, I don't care. I'm still going to say its the best (of the 8 or so I've heard) album of 2008. For true musical opinion, you need my friend deutlich (http://deutlich.wordpress.com) for any musical insight. She's the smartest music person I know....nevemind that whole backstreet boys fandom....

So to wrap things up....I don't like organized religion, and I like music. 

And now you see reason #1 while I may or may not be normal. We're still trying to figure that out. If you stick around long enough, maybe we can work that out together.